Yiayia's Bottle of Ouzo and Other Feather Party Fun

And next on the list of things people without jobs have time to do... attend the church Feather Party. For those of you who don't already know, the church Feather Party is not only a long-standing St. Nicholas tradition, but also a time-honored Caralis Family tradition. It is always a wonderful night where Greeks from all across town come together to play Bingo in order to win an assortment of handsome prizes including turkeys, fruit baskets (large and small and yes the difference is important), coffee, and liquor. There is also always a spread of 3rd place prizes that vary from year to year and have no significance whatsoever. In the past we've won a number of items from this category including but certainly not limited to a set of gigantic, hideous red candlesticks and an "original" oil painting of a fruit bowl. The grand prize is actually very exciting. Tonight it was a 37" plasma TV!

The part that I love about the Feather Party is that it is essentially the same every year. As far as I'm concerned, it has been the same since the beginning of time and the only thing that really changes is who won what. However, if you haven't already figured it out, it is not really so much about what you win as it is about if you win, how much you win, and if what you win is better or more than what the other families win. Please harbor no false notions that this is a nice way to spend quality time with a community of people and raise money to support the church. Bingo is a brutal, competitive sport. Even those of us who attend because we had little (nothing) else going on end up being seduced by the majestic absurdity of desperately trying to win a bunch of stuff we don't want and find ourselves screaming, "I only needed B 12! That's MY turkey!"

So like I said, the Feather Party never really changes. We sit around making wishful comments like, "I only need two more!" and always actually believing this makes us close to winning. We sigh with disappointment as the number we needed to win four games ago is finally called and we remind each other of our almost wins. "Katie, there's your I 24." Oh, I 24, why have you forsaken me? We also love to critique the way others yell "Bingo!" and strongly believe that one's right to a fruit basket is dependent upon the volume, pitch, and enthusiasm of *their shout. Usually about an hour into the evening we realize that Bingo is actually rather boring and lament that there are so many turkeys left standing between us and our chance to win a new TV. Reprieve comes as we begin to formulate our intense Bingo strategy when relying on luck proves fruitless (literally). Bingo strategy mainly revolves around making sure you don't say what numbers you need out loud so as not to jinx your chances.

I also love the "loser's only" games which are intended to give those of us wildly unlucky people a better chance to win. Of course, the winners never actually sit the game out. Some may think about it, but inevitably they all end up playing and then if they win they hand off the board to a loser to call Bingo for them. (I believe this really only makes the loser a bigger loser, but it is definitely not beneath me). My uncle refers to this to play or not to play as "the great moral dilemma."

The Feather Party is not something to be taken lightly. In fact, it has the power to determine a family's social standing for a whole year. For example, last year my family didn't win anything and so the people who shared the table refused to sit anywhere near us this year because we were certainly bad luck. The good news is that my family usually cleans up. This gives my yiayia major bragging rights and starts before the night is even over. I definitely heard her lean over to a friend at the table next to us and loudly state, "My grandson hardly sat down before he won a big fruit basket and now he just won again." This might seem a strange thing to gloat over, but you have to understand the other yiayia would have done the same in a reverse situation. It's the way it works. Her grandson may be studying law at Harvard, but the fact that my brother once walked away with the Feather Party grand prize BBQ grill still one ups it.

Complete list of things won by the Caralis Family this evening:
-Two large fruit baskets
-One 22 lb. frozen turkey
-One bag of Jonathon apples
-One bottle of ouzo

Did I mention that I walked away the big loser at our table? This was really no surprise to me with regard to my current state of luck. There was a moment where I thought, "Hey, maybe it is time for karma to come around," but when I returned home without winning I consoled myself by realizing that when karma does come around I'd rather it not come in the form of a frozen turkey.

Yiayia was of course absolutely thrilled about her bottle of ouzo. Not because she has any intentions of ever drinking any of said ouzo, but because she won something. Chances are this bottle of ouzo will sit around waiting to be pushed on us at family holiday get togethers for years to come. The best Feather Party winnings are always the ones that continue to haunt you long after the event is over. Anyone interested in a lovely fruit bowl oil painting for the living room?

*This is a deliberate disregard for a standard grammatical rule of number agreement. It's my blog, I do what I want.